In yet another instance of the chaos and incompetence that has defined this entire Republican convention, a draft of Donald’s big convention closing speech leaked to Politico.

Now that I have the speech in my clutches, here is a helpful translation of some key portions into plain English.


Together, we will lead our party back to the White House, and we will lead our country back to safety, prosperity, and peace. We will be a country of generosity and warmth. But we will also be a country of law and order.

Translation: I would rule this country with an iron fist, because I don’t believe in the basic goodness of people and I don’t have the personal constitution to tolerate true freedom.


Americans watching this address tonight have seen the recent images of violence in our streets and the chaos in our communities. Many have witnessed this violence personally, some have even been its victims. I have a message for all of you: the crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon come to an end. Beginning on January 20th 2017, safety will be restored.

Translation: No, really, I’m serious about that “ruling with an iron fist” thing.


I will present the facts plainly and honestly. We cannot afford to be so politically correct anymore.

Translation: I will lie to you and tell you it’s the truth. That thing you call basic decency? You know, treating people the way they want to be treated and making space for people who have been left out and being sensitive in the language you use? Well, I call it “political correctness” and I ain’t interested! What I’m interested in is making sure that white men retain their undeserved privilege.


The number of new illegal immigrant families who have crossed the border so far this year already exceeds the entire total from 2015. They are being released by the tens of thousands into our communities with no regard for the impact on public safety or resources.

Translation: I am a racist. If you’re a Mexican immigrant, you’re probably a rapist. If you’re a Muslim, you’re probably a terrorist. If you’re Black, you probably hate cops and don’t think their lives matter. Women are also terrible.


America is far less safe – and the world is far less stable – than when Obama made the decision to put Hillary Clinton in charge of America’s foreign policy. I am certain it is a decision he truly regrets. Her bad instincts and her bad judgment – something pointed out by Bernie Sanders – are what caused the disasters unfolding today.

Translation: I believe that I am in a position to second-guess a woman who ran the State Department from the outside, having never studied foreign policy or worked a day in government. I believe I am also qualified to speak to the mind of a Black man who is our president. I have no respect for women or people of color, no matter how successful or accomplished they may be. Also: Bernie Sanders!


This is the legacy of Hillary Clinton: death, destruction and weakness.

Translation: Honestly, I don’t know a single thing about what Hillary has achieved. Something about women and children? BO-RING.


The most important difference between our plan and that of our opponents, is that our plan will put America First. Americanism, not globalism, will be our credo.

Translation: I am anti-Semitic. I like using language that appeals to white supremacists.


I have visited the laid-off factory workers, and the communities crushed by our horrible and unfair trade deals. These are the forgotten men and women of our country. People who work hard but no longer have a voice. I AM YOUR VOICE.

Translation: I am saying words that sound like a compassionate populist, but what I really mean is that I’m going to speak for you, over you, and at you. I will absolutely not listen. Because the only thing that matters to me is me. Oh, and gold chairs.


I have joined the political arena so that the powerful can no longer beat up on people that cannot defend themselves. Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it. I have seen firsthand how the system is rigged against our citizens, just like it was rigged against Bernie Sanders – he never had a chance.

Translation: I’m still really sad that I have to face humiliating defeat to a woman.


History is watching us now. It’s waiting to see if we will rise to the occasion, and if we will show the whole world that America is still free and independent and strong.

Translation: Vote for Hillary.

There’s more. Oh so much more.

But here’s the basic gist: Donald Trump is running to be an autocratic strongman, because he lacks the knowledge and competence to rule by good governance. He lacks the temperament to engage in the nuance, finesse, and diplomacy that decent stewardship of a free country requires. He promises freedom and prosperity, speaking in the language of a populist, but, like so many despots before him who employed the same chicanery, he is not a man of the people. He is a human fist, who wants the power of the American government to be the force behind his tightly closed hand.

His speech is Exhibit A in why he can never be president of this great nation.

(AP Photo)